OMG Christ was Gay!

okay, i really just made that up. scandalous, isn’t it? but i ask you this: why is is scandalous?

since i’m feeling feisty and just read a friend’s blog about her conversation about gay marriage with a person making church law-based arguments, i’m going to indulge in a little psychology hypothesis:  the church is a mental crutch people use to protect themselves (specifically but not exclusively) in the case of homosexuality. oooh. i told you i’m feeling feisty.

i think a lot of people (myself included) have found themselves at times with very little direction. SO when we face challenges such as losing loved ones, struggling with crap jobs (or unemployment), struggling to provide for ourselves or families, or dealing with people we don’t like, we look for answers. we try to solve problems. we work to protect our egos and our assets (studies show that people will lie to protect their egos even if it means our top priorities food/shelter/companionship will be compromised). the church (and i mean all churches with “Book”s and inflexible “Word”s on how to live) straight out GIVES specific answers. it is much easier to follow than to lead. so if you are feeling challenged, use an existing set of rules to defend yourself. eh?

what i’m getting at here is anti-gay folks feel threatened in one way or another by gay folks. what are some of these ways?

1. for some men, it’s a primal urge to ward off other men, as you can’t pass your genetic code to another man. notice how lots of men have male friends, but as soon as the concept of sex comes to play, other men are gross? protection of procreation. male lions eat baby lions–an act which instantly puts the mother back in heat. go on, try to convince me that male lion’s reason for eating its own species was because he was hungry. because most species cannibalize regularly. right.
2. note that the topic of gay sex is heated over male gay sex and rather dismissing over female gay sex. perhaps because the male is the penetrator, the doer. if you are not doing the doing, you are being done. in the case of sex, we’re born with chemical and physical equipment that tells us that we either do or get done (considering humans have over-populated the earth, more folks should be cropping up with non-breeding chemical signals as time goes on). in some people that message is so strong that the idea of getting done by someone (if you’re a doer) is horrifying. and if it’s horrifying for you, it must be wrong for everyone. after all, it’s horrifying. obviously the logic of “what’s right for me is right for you” doesn’t work. if it did, we’d have one political party, no war, and a utopia where everyone shares.
3. talking about sex is awkward for a lot of folks. did all of that penetration talk above make you uncomfortable? OR, did the langauge above threaten your feeling of comfort? what could possibly be more uncomfortable than talking about sex (uncomfortable!) if it is weird gay sex (ahh! extra uncomfortable!)? [must initialize sequence of ways to protect comfort level. now. maybe a little "whoa i'm not like THEM" talk will do the trick.]
4. it is hard work to think through the things that challenge you. who am i? why do i feel the way i do? how should i behave? what is the best way to live? if i don’t like things about a person, how can i be sure that we are different enough so that i don’t have to deal with not liking things about myself? the bible is the yellowpages of tough life questions. need to order a pizza? you know how to look that up. need to justify your discomfort around gay people? you know how to look that up too. what happens when your phone book’s out of date? you call for pizza and the number’s been disconnected. what happens when your bible’s out of date?
5. additionally, humans are hard-wired to differentiate. we can look out to the horizon and differentiate the one lion from the herd of gazelles. we differentiate to determine danger. we are born to classify and stereotype for our own safety. sometimes safety means not getting mugged. sometimes safety means not challenging our beliefs. again, if we differentiate ourselves from folks we don’t like, we don’t have to deal with not liking ourselves, bringing us back to rule #1 – protect the ego.

so those are some ways in which homosexuals threaten heterosexuals. but let’s get back to the church.

for some folks, the church said it is wrong (whatever it may be), so it must be. it is easy to use the church’s teachings as a way to avoid thinking about what challenges you. if there’s already an answer in place, use it. gay = wrong. said and done. keep in mind, some churches have been around for a couple thousand years. they have developed infrastructures that needs to be maintained and protected. ask yourself  to define the point at which the actions of the church stop serving the people and start serving the infrastructure of the church.

the largest suspension bridge was built not long ago in japan. this bridge is the largest possible of it’s kind. it is so large that 90% of the structure is in place simply to support the structure. this leaves only 10% of the structure to support the flow of traffic from island to island. in essence, a mere 10% is dedicated to the whole point of having a bridge. just like humans, the church is very interested in self-preservation.  many churches were the governing bodies in early civilizations. many were replaced by civic versions, but not without a fight (very bloody, high-death toll, wars in which many believers died, to be more precise). in what ways do our current governing bodies make sacrifices to protect themselves? think about the british government’s response to the sinking of the Lusitania in WWI.

1. in an effort to keep secret the fact that they were intercepting german intelligence, they did not warn the cruise liner (with 2,000 civilians on board) of nearby U-boat presence, and having the Lusitania change course would seem suspicious to germans. a U-boat sunk the massive liner with, shockingly, only one torpedo,
2. because there were government-authorized munitions secretly stowed on board which caused secondary explosions. when the investigation was concluded, the records stated that
3. the british government tried many times and successfully communicated a change of course to the boat’s captain. the captain, due to weather issues, was unable to comply, and the boat was hit.

if word got out that the british government was sacrificing a ship full of civilians to protect military assets, the british government would have a lot more to worry about than german u-boats. ah, self-preservation. remember the organizations we humans create, are indeed human creations, and therefore behave like humans.

so, what does all of this mean? if you are willing to put all of your faith in a higher power, or organization, be aware that it might not always behave in your best interests, but rather in its. american culture shuns the idea of letting one person make all of the decisions for another person with “personal freedom!” as the battle cry. likewise, perhaps this creed should be extended to include organizations. it is not wise to let an organization or set of organizations do all of your thinking for you.

stop to think, regularly.

think about the people you work with, your neighbors, your family. if half of them tell you right now that they’re gay, does knowing this detail change your relationship? afterall, you knew and liked this person before. what has changed? take away the scaffolding of your church’s rules. are these people suddenly ne’er–do–wells? are they really that lion in a field of gazelles?

Taking the Greeting out of the Season

I read an interesting string of arguments today about Focus on the Family’s list of retailers that use “Merry Christmas” and those that use other phrases like “Seasons Greetings.”

When the list was released, some folks were offended because the “Seasons Greetings” list was published basically as a blacklist. And shopping at the “Merry Christmas” list was encouraged by FOF.

I know religion is a very personal topic, that’s why is stirs so many deep emotions, and oftentimes, big frothy reactions from people. So listen up.

“Seasons Greetings” is not a politically-correct euphemism for “Merry Christmas.” No one’s trampling anyone’s religion here.

When people say “Seasons Greetings” they’re not trying to take Christmas away from anyone, but rather, quite the contrary. It is a simple way to show that you are not assuming the person you are greeting shares your religious beliefs. Which, in turn, is freeing you linguistically and socially to celebrate a Christ-full Christmas, Hanukkah –or whatever you may celebrate–or not celebrate. This is a greeting meant to pass on the excitement of first snowfalls, twinkle lights, roaring fireplaces, outdoor ice skating, and hot chocolate. It is in no way a castration of any “true meaning” of the season.

During the season in question, our country celebrates Thanksgiving and the New Year. Also, lots of individuals and families celebrate their personal religious holidays with their personal traditions. The biggie and most commercialized in our country at the moment is Christmas.

Now here comes the argument that saying “Seasons Greetings” is contributing to Christ being lost from Christmas. This argument leaves me asking, what? did someone shove him in the wrong box in the attic when they put him away last January? Only those Christians who allowed themselves to get caught up in the commercial side, forgetting their own spiritual side, are experiencing this self-induced loss. Plenty of folks keep Christ on the tops of their minds every day, including Christmas. Blaming others’ cheery winter greetings for your own feelings that the meaning has been extracted from your holiday is simply not logical. Do a little soul searching. You’ll probably find that missing meaning in there somewhere rattling around in a mislabeled box.

Many retail stores and companies choose to say “Seasons Greetings” for the reason illustrated above: it is not exclusive. Enjoying shopping at stores on the “Merry Christmas” list may be a great way to share in the spiritual side of Christmas with fellow Christians (and what an insult to the religion if these stores turned out not to be Christian-run). Likewise, for Christians to boycott companies that choose to open their doors to other religions seems a little ugly, and dare i say, exclusive, to me.

So please, let’s not over think this thing. Set aside those lists and infuse our economy with a little extra holiday cash. And more importantly, let’s embrace the long tradition of excitement that this season brings, and pass good will onto your neighbors regardless of how, or even if, they decorate their mantles.