OMG Christ was Gay!

okay, i really just made that up. scandalous, isn’t it? but i ask you this: why is is scandalous?

since i’m feeling feisty and just read a friend’s blog about her conversation about gay marriage with a person making church law-based arguments, i’m going to indulge in a little psychology hypothesis:  the church is a mental crutch people use to protect themselves (specifically but not exclusively) in the case of homosexuality. oooh. i told you i’m feeling feisty.

i think a lot of people (myself included) have found themselves at times with very little direction. SO when we face challenges such as losing loved ones, struggling with crap jobs (or unemployment), struggling to provide for ourselves or families, or dealing with people we don’t like, we look for answers. we try to solve problems. we work to protect our egos and our assets (studies show that people will lie to protect their egos even if it means our top priorities food/shelter/companionship will be compromised). the church (and i mean all churches with “Book”s and inflexible “Word”s on how to live) straight out GIVES specific answers. it is much easier to follow than to lead. so if you are feeling challenged, use an existing set of rules to defend yourself. eh?

what i’m getting at here is anti-gay folks feel threatened in one way or another by gay folks. what are some of these ways?

1. for some men, it’s a primal urge to ward off other men, as you can’t pass your genetic code to another man. notice how lots of men have male friends, but as soon as the concept of sex comes to play, other men are gross? protection of procreation. male lions eat baby lions–an act which instantly puts the mother back in heat. go on, try to convince me that male lion’s reason for eating its own species was because he was hungry. because most species cannibalize regularly. right.
2. note that the topic of gay sex is heated over male gay sex and rather dismissing over female gay sex. perhaps because the male is the penetrator, the doer. if you are not doing the doing, you are being done. in the case of sex, we’re born with chemical and physical equipment that tells us that we either do or get done (considering humans have over-populated the earth, more folks should be cropping up with non-breeding chemical signals as time goes on). in some people that message is so strong that the idea of getting done by someone (if you’re a doer) is horrifying. and if it’s horrifying for you, it must be wrong for everyone. after all, it’s horrifying. obviously the logic of “what’s right for me is right for you” doesn’t work. if it did, we’d have one political party, no war, and a utopia where everyone shares.
3. talking about sex is awkward for a lot of folks. did all of that penetration talk above make you uncomfortable? OR, did the langauge above threaten your feeling of comfort? what could possibly be more uncomfortable than talking about sex (uncomfortable!) if it is weird gay sex (ahh! extra uncomfortable!)? [must initialize sequence of ways to protect comfort level. now. maybe a little "whoa i'm not like THEM" talk will do the trick.]
4. it is hard work to think through the things that challenge you. who am i? why do i feel the way i do? how should i behave? what is the best way to live? if i don’t like things about a person, how can i be sure that we are different enough so that i don’t have to deal with not liking things about myself? the bible is the yellowpages of tough life questions. need to order a pizza? you know how to look that up. need to justify your discomfort around gay people? you know how to look that up too. what happens when your phone book’s out of date? you call for pizza and the number’s been disconnected. what happens when your bible’s out of date?
5. additionally, humans are hard-wired to differentiate. we can look out to the horizon and differentiate the one lion from the herd of gazelles. we differentiate to determine danger. we are born to classify and stereotype for our own safety. sometimes safety means not getting mugged. sometimes safety means not challenging our beliefs. again, if we differentiate ourselves from folks we don’t like, we don’t have to deal with not liking ourselves, bringing us back to rule #1 – protect the ego.

so those are some ways in which homosexuals threaten heterosexuals. but let’s get back to the church.

for some folks, the church said it is wrong (whatever it may be), so it must be. it is easy to use the church’s teachings as a way to avoid thinking about what challenges you. if there’s already an answer in place, use it. gay = wrong. said and done. keep in mind, some churches have been around for a couple thousand years. they have developed infrastructures that needs to be maintained and protected. ask yourself  to define the point at which the actions of the church stop serving the people and start serving the infrastructure of the church.

the largest suspension bridge was built not long ago in japan. this bridge is the largest possible of it’s kind. it is so large that 90% of the structure is in place simply to support the structure. this leaves only 10% of the structure to support the flow of traffic from island to island. in essence, a mere 10% is dedicated to the whole point of having a bridge. just like humans, the church is very interested in self-preservation.  many churches were the governing bodies in early civilizations. many were replaced by civic versions, but not without a fight (very bloody, high-death toll, wars in which many believers died, to be more precise). in what ways do our current governing bodies make sacrifices to protect themselves? think about the british government’s response to the sinking of the Lusitania in WWI.

1. in an effort to keep secret the fact that they were intercepting german intelligence, they did not warn the cruise liner (with 2,000 civilians on board) of nearby U-boat presence, and having the Lusitania change course would seem suspicious to germans. a U-boat sunk the massive liner with, shockingly, only one torpedo,
2. because there were government-authorized munitions secretly stowed on board which caused secondary explosions. when the investigation was concluded, the records stated that
3. the british government tried many times and successfully communicated a change of course to the boat’s captain. the captain, due to weather issues, was unable to comply, and the boat was hit.

if word got out that the british government was sacrificing a ship full of civilians to protect military assets, the british government would have a lot more to worry about than german u-boats. ah, self-preservation. remember the organizations we humans create, are indeed human creations, and therefore behave like humans.

so, what does all of this mean? if you are willing to put all of your faith in a higher power, or organization, be aware that it might not always behave in your best interests, but rather in its. american culture shuns the idea of letting one person make all of the decisions for another person with “personal freedom!” as the battle cry. likewise, perhaps this creed should be extended to include organizations. it is not wise to let an organization or set of organizations do all of your thinking for you.

stop to think, regularly.

think about the people you work with, your neighbors, your family. if half of them tell you right now that they’re gay, does knowing this detail change your relationship? afterall, you knew and liked this person before. what has changed? take away the scaffolding of your church’s rules. are these people suddenly ne’er–do–wells? are they really that lion in a field of gazelles?

innovation

I’ve spent the past couple of days compiling lists of innovations and major events that have shaped our human experience, and more specifically, our human experience in the US. So many times, we learn about innovations without context.

For example,

• Eli Whitney invented the Cotton Gin in 1794.
• A cotton harvester prototype was built in 1920.

It took nearly 130 years to complete the automation of cotton production. So why did this take so long?

Slave labor was still readily and legally available for 40 years after Whitney’s invention, so labor cost wasn’t an issue.  Once slave labor evaporated (1833), indentured servants (still very cheap labor) took up the work. However, the demand for cotton was growing rapidly, and plantations couldn’t keep up regardless of the blisters, beatings, and strains on labor.  Eighty years later, World War I broke out and cotton production had to be innovated. The first cotton harvesters (1920) replaced the work of 40 people picking cotton by hand. By the end of World War II, machines could now (1950) produce 6 times the cotton as the 1920s’ models in the same amount of time.

Why is this relevant today? Because people innovate only when they have to. When we are comfortable, we tend not to change our surroundings. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Right? It wasn’t until gas prices reached nearly $5/gallon this summer that people started driving less and turning to other modes of transportation.

Unfortunately, due to the current sinking state of our economy, lots of people are uncomfortable. The folks who scraped to get by are now drowning and the people who thought they were doing okay are now scraping to get by. Unemployment is spiking and the availability of jobs is plummeting. Interestingly enough, the people who hold the most money, make financial decision that affect the people who hold the least amount of money. And these people, who were quite comfortable are still comfortable, and don’t see the need for change. Are these the same people that would eat every last grain of food themselves, saving none for the people who produce the grain, then wonder where to get more grain after the producers are gone? It’s worth considering.

Enter innovation. Looking at the numbers of people in financial crisis versus those who are comfortable, the Presidential candidate Barack Obama saw that lots of people needed a change in their lives. Plenty of people need a positive change in their financial situation, but also, plenty of people need a positive change in their lives, period. For those not feeling the financial crunch as vividly as others, perhaps that change is escaping a bad relationship or a dead-end career. He chose the message of Change coupled with the inspiration of Hope, and he shouted it from every form of media his audience would see. Then he shouted it from every form of media his opponent’s audience would see.

A Presidential race is not comfortable. It requires agility, planning, a consistent message, and a constant message. In this campaign, Change and Hope went viral. By facilitating supporters to reach millions, through social media connections, Barack Obama innovated the way campaigns communicate. Support flair on Facebook, update tweets on Twitter, and community-made wearable art on CafePress enabled supporters to become a part of the campaign without knocking on doors and placing signage all over town.

It worked. Today, an hour ago, Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th President of our great country. His message has not changed, but his political status has (I wonder what his Facebook status says…). Today he shouted Change and Hope for the first time as the President (read the transcript of his speech). I followed a link from Twitter and watched the ceremony online.

Being the President is not comfortable. It requires agility, planning, a consistent message, and a constant message. Given the way in which Barack Obama ran his campaign, I feel confident he will run his office and the items within his power with as much integrity and innovation.

Here’s to innovation: let us keep moving forward; let us keep creating; let us keep working towards better lives for all of mankind.

Taking the Greeting out of the Season

I read an interesting string of arguments today about Focus on the Family’s list of retailers that use “Merry Christmas” and those that use other phrases like “Seasons Greetings.”

When the list was released, some folks were offended because the “Seasons Greetings” list was published basically as a blacklist. And shopping at the “Merry Christmas” list was encouraged by FOF.

I know religion is a very personal topic, that’s why is stirs so many deep emotions, and oftentimes, big frothy reactions from people. So listen up.

“Seasons Greetings” is not a politically-correct euphemism for “Merry Christmas.” No one’s trampling anyone’s religion here.

When people say “Seasons Greetings” they’re not trying to take Christmas away from anyone, but rather, quite the contrary. It is a simple way to show that you are not assuming the person you are greeting shares your religious beliefs. Which, in turn, is freeing you linguistically and socially to celebrate a Christ-full Christmas, Hanukkah –or whatever you may celebrate–or not celebrate. This is a greeting meant to pass on the excitement of first snowfalls, twinkle lights, roaring fireplaces, outdoor ice skating, and hot chocolate. It is in no way a castration of any “true meaning” of the season.

During the season in question, our country celebrates Thanksgiving and the New Year. Also, lots of individuals and families celebrate their personal religious holidays with their personal traditions. The biggie and most commercialized in our country at the moment is Christmas.

Now here comes the argument that saying “Seasons Greetings” is contributing to Christ being lost from Christmas. This argument leaves me asking, what? did someone shove him in the wrong box in the attic when they put him away last January? Only those Christians who allowed themselves to get caught up in the commercial side, forgetting their own spiritual side, are experiencing this self-induced loss. Plenty of folks keep Christ on the tops of their minds every day, including Christmas. Blaming others’ cheery winter greetings for your own feelings that the meaning has been extracted from your holiday is simply not logical. Do a little soul searching. You’ll probably find that missing meaning in there somewhere rattling around in a mislabeled box.

Many retail stores and companies choose to say “Seasons Greetings” for the reason illustrated above: it is not exclusive. Enjoying shopping at stores on the “Merry Christmas” list may be a great way to share in the spiritual side of Christmas with fellow Christians (and what an insult to the religion if these stores turned out not to be Christian-run). Likewise, for Christians to boycott companies that choose to open their doors to other religions seems a little ugly, and dare i say, exclusive, to me.

So please, let’s not over think this thing. Set aside those lists and infuse our economy with a little extra holiday cash. And more importantly, let’s embrace the long tradition of excitement that this season brings, and pass good will onto your neighbors regardless of how, or even if, they decorate their mantles.

The Passing of Prop 8 is a Slippery, Slippery Slope

Don’t punish others because you feel uncomfortable, or be careful what you wish for. The passing of Prop 8 is a slippery slope endangering the rights of all Americans.

If you are uncomfortable around people who are gay, that is your problem to deal with. For example, I am uncomfortable around people who make racist remarks. This language is offensive to me. I can choose to either avoid spending time with people who use this language, or work on getting over it.

The fact of the matter is, there are racist people in my country.

I can choose to yell at them. I can choose to call them names. What I cannot choose to do is take away these people’s rights to use this language. It is their constitutional right that is the foundation of the freedom in our country. In fact, this is #1 on the Bill of Rights.

What if I started a movement to take that right away? What if I now decided what language was appropriate and what was not?

Likewise, to amend the Constitution, as Proposition 8 has in the state of California, has done just that. It is thrusting a group of people’s discomfort onto other people in the form of laws. And this is simply not right.

At this time, I’d like to point our 2 weaknesses inherent to the metaphor of my example above.
1. People are not born racist or speaking in racist language. People are born gay.
2. Using racist language hurts people. Being gay does not hurt people.

For these reasons, it is even more crucial that gay people (or any group of people) are not singled out and stripped of rights they used to have. They have committed no crime; they have not changed the status of their citizenship; and in addition, they were born gay.

What logical, legal reason is there to make this group of people lower class citizens? In a country where we are afforded the gift, privilege, and right to the pursuit of happiness, how can we take this away from our fellow citizens? If we can do this, what rights can other groups of people take away from you?

This is a slippery and ugly slope, my friends.

bootstraps

to those of you who believe the drive to pick one’s self up by one’s bootstraps with which one is born is all that is needed in this world, remember this: some were born without boots, and yet others were born without feet.

perhaps it is not the success of the rich that mark a country’s greatness. perhaps it is the compassion with which it treats its vulnerable.

perhaps we can work together to fashion feet for those who need them, then work with the bootless to get their feet covered, then teach those with boots how to tug on the straps.

and only then, when all has been made equal, can we criticize those who don’t pull themselves up by their own bootstraps.

cry wolf

a couple of years ago, i had a job that put me in newly-constructed buildings as all of the electrical items and alarms were being installed. the company i worked for was a nurse-notification system installer. so, during every day i’d hear fire alarms, code blue alarms, bathroom slip-and-fall emergency alarms, and other security alarms for about 2-12 hours, and then again the next day, and the next day.

it is a little unsettling to train one’s self to NOT respond to these devices. and a little piece of irony here, i was there much of the time to train staff TO respond to those devices. do as i say, not as i do.

last night i was in a crowded theater to see a band play. as i looked around the theater, i saw the various fire alarms, sprinklers, and cameras scattered around the ceiling and walls. naturally, thoughts of the Great White tragedy came to mind and then suddenly, i felt a sense of relief. what? why? because i realized that if i were to hear one of these fire alarms, i would know what to do. fire alarm = exit. simple enough. i was so glad the ambiguity was gone (and that i was standing near a ground-level exit).

perhaps this realization happened during a very stressful presidential campaign where both sides manipulate facts to claim the opposition is downright bad and the economy just took a huge dive that needed to be “bailed out” by the government (or whatever that actually means)–perhaps i felt so glad to understand a clear directive at this very moment because there is so much nonsense to filter through in order to get facts about very important things, i feel more overwhelmed than i realize.

just moments ago i was overhearing 2 coworkers speaking passionately about politics. but what it came down to was they both realize they have absolutely no idea what the truth is, or where they could find it. despite how much they both care about our country and want to see the best choices being made, they don’t have the tools they need to make that happen. and that is frustrating and frightening.

if only directives for things as important as fire = exit could be so clear and without motive, agenda, or malice.

palin. one letter short of pain.

one can’t write off the importance of a presidential candidate’s choice for a vp, especially when the presidential candidate’s health is in question. that being said, my first reaction to mccain’s choice of palin was that is was a swift and brilliant political move that would make a lot of people happy, especially those who thought hillary was asked to step down because she is a woman. i was excited to learn more about this palin choice.

then i did.

and now i believe this move has turned out to be a horrible horrible mistake. i don’t mean just for the republican party. perhaps she’ll win it for them. i mean it is a mistake for our country. and this is why.

1. how does a candidate who shouted “ready to lead?” at a fellow congressman dare turn around a select a running mate with far less experience than his opponent? do you recall she said she didn’t even know what the vp does? well neither do i, but if i were in a position to want to be vp, you better believe i would know. and then there’s the point that she didn’t necessarily want the position… but come on, how does any red-blooded american pass that kind of invite up?
2. how does all of this hockey mom, get’er done, boot strapping, under dog, blather actually pan out? people think about it. you don’t want to vote for someone who you could go sit with at the local bar and drink a beer, and who don’t talk fancy because she’s a regular person with regular values, just like you. nope. do you all remember what happened the last time people voted for “aw shucks, speakin good ain’t important”? this isn’t a movie with a fool-proof (literally) happy ending. there is no deus ex machina to sweep in and save the day. (there is, however, a deus, who seems to getting mixed up in state affairs, because hey! why separate church and state?) 8 years later, some of our most significant national infrastructures are failing (economy, foreign policy, civil rights, etc.). why? because speakin good weren’t the only thing he weren’t good at. hmmm fool-proof. that’s one thing the keys to the helm of the entire united states is not. you screw up and it’s BIG.my president better be smarter than i am. and my president better be better at a lot of things than i am. i don’t care if i can’t relate to my president if my president is getting the job done well. so, past experience shows that saying “get’er done” and letting jesus take the wheel doesn’t actually get the job done. let us all learn from our mistakes and move forward.
3. okay, so back to palin. ah hem. sexism anyone? anyone? choosing a woman because she’s a woman is just as sexist as not choosing a woman because she’s a woman. i might even think that this is possibly more sexist because she’s being used as a tool to win an election. ridiculous.
4. talk about planning to win the battle and not the war. everyone’s touting mccain’s military experience but if his military strategy is nearly as short-sighted as his plan of attack on winning an election, we’re in trouble. so sometimes work piles up and you hire a temp to come in and help play catch-up. then the work is caught up and the temp goes home and you don’t have to deal with their questions and strange wardrobe choices and idiosyncrasies. where’s palin going after she wins this election for mccain? um, into the vp office. to stay. and quite possibly into the p office. where does that leave the rest of us? thanks mccain. thanks for planning ahead on that one. that was awesome.

so, after all of that. it is quite clear to me that voting for the ticket with palin’s name is right out. but you know? i hope i’m wrong. i hope i missed the mark entirely. i hope mccain made his selection with integrity and with the intent of providing our country with the best potential vice president that he could fathom. i hope that palin is not only qualified, but excited to go to office and make good things happen for all people in the country.

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in case you’re curious, my political affiliation:

here’s the deal. though i am technically registered democrat in the state of colorado, i used to be registered republican 4 years ago in pennsylvania. so what i am saying is, i don’t consider myself to be affiliated with either party and this election was wide open for me to think and choose what i feel best represents the needs of the country, not always MY needs, but rather what will keep my country healthy.

Moose Sightings in Colorado are Restricted to Tacky Gift Shop Windows

So what is it about ceramic moose that really get people going? They don’t even have to be ceramic. They can be printed on t-shirts, crafted into copper candleholders, or plush and furry stuffed versions. They can even be smiling unabashed on a paper bag full of licorice flavored “moose dropping” candy. A sure winner.

There is no questioning that moose souvenirs sell. I am personally guilty of purchasing a brushed stainless steel moose key chain with swinging legs and gold-colored antlers on a trip to Minnesota in my youth. Sadly though, when I began driving and actually used the key chain for more than a decoration on my corkboard, the legs promptly fell off.

There is, however, a need of explanation as to why the moose souvenirs sell. In Colorado today the moose population can boast a mere 2,000 members. Putting this into perspective, there are over 305,000 elk in Colorado and even they are rare to see. So what’s with the obsession? How on earth does a set of moose coasters remind you of a trip to Colorado when snow encrusted peaks and aspen trees are far more prevalent?

So why does this even come to mind? Yesterday I was on a photo recon mission, snapping stock shots of the souvenir capitol of Colorado, the 16th Street Mall. This is an easy task. With interesting art and architecture everywhere, the photo ops are far more prevalent than members of the state’s live moose population (and far less than that of its ceramic moose population). This photography task was not so easy in the other neighborhood I visited prior to the 16th Street Mall photo buffet.

The Highlands neighborhood in Denver is divided into 2 parts: Highland Square, which is fancy and boutique-rich; and Tennyson, which is rougher, more artful, and a little scary in places. Naturally, this recon project was in the Tennyson side of the neighborhood.

It really felt like putting lipstick on a pig (sorry prickly GOP, this is an actual expression that existed and was used far before your sexist use of Sara Palin as a vote catcher was put into place. Furthermore, you can’t claim that every time the word “pig” is used, it is in reference to Palin. oh wait, I mean “lipstick,” either way, I suppose.) Which is to say, I was trying to sell the neighborhood as opposed to simply showcasing it in its own fabulousness. I struggled with this a little bit. Do I personally want to send people to a neighborhood that is less than the lipstick I am promising? Perhaps I can craft a look and set of information that is more lip-gloss or lip-balm in its approach. But seriously, the food options are weak, the residential areas between retail districts are crumbling, and it took me two hours to find what might be the cover shot for the project. T’was a bit frustrating. Which is why, in contrast, the energy of the 16th Street Mall on a Saturday afternoon in early September was all the more enticing.

There was the skinny girl walking her skinny dog, the homeless guy shouting insults from atop his worn, red milk crate, that robot guy with the huge afro that was making conversation with confused passers-by, an excellent argument between strangers about the integrity of the two presidential candidates, and much much more.

Of course, if only I had stopped to buy a moose lamp, I could remember the day in its full glory. Alas, I did not and this memory is destined to be dashed into the abyss of forgotten days as the years pass. And that, folks, is why we buy moose souvenirs.

role model

for the first time in our country’s history, we may have an african american man, an man whose skin tone is half white and half black, be our president and leader. the positive impact of having a man of non-white skin tone lead our country as president is monumental and far-reaching.

not only is he in line to be president (an accomplishment in its own long-overdue in our country), but he carries an even broader message of HOPE–a message that has been missing from our presidency since franklin d. roosevelt, and from the underprivileged households and neighborhoods suffering from prejudice, drug abuse, and poverty.

a double whammy.

we’d all get a president who is inspirational (for the first time in my life time), and for the first time ever, middle class african american families get proof that their sacrifices have not been in vain. but the most exciting piece is that underprivileged african american boys will learn that there is hope for them. they don’t have to be destined for gang life and crime. there is something now, something big, for them to bootstrap-up to. at last the face of “the man” may be a black man and the ripple effect would be huge.

and that’s just within our country. what about the world view? let us not forget how crucial this is to our own economy and safety. though we tout our country as the great melting pot, racist and classist thought ooses in and out of decisions that affect all people of our nation, and therefore, foreign relations. when we have 8 years of gun-toting religious right shouting their very specific and exclusive beliefs as the voice of our people, no doubt others (including many of us in our own country) are offended.* at long last, we could have a man that can speak to other world leaders without the context of white privilege shrouding him.

for the first time, i care about an election. for the first time, i see a man who can speak to all of the people of this country as people and not just as demographics, case studies, and problems to work around. for the first time, i feel like we the people are on the agenda and that decisions will be made with us in the forefront of the process, not just an after-thought. for the first time, i see a man with compassion, intelligence, and a profound ability to unite and lead. and this, this is exactly what this country has needed for so very long now.

i know my expectations are high, but to the sad contrast, they have been set so very low by previous candidates.** even if he can’t solve every problem (which is a very tall order for one man), he is working to do so and is instilling HOPE in all of us. and hope is an invaluable gift. 2 years into his term, when we are upset that our problems have not been solved, i want to retain appreciation for the fact that at least they’re being addressed, and being addressed by a person who cares about his people and not just lining his pockets and those of his friends.

november 4th feels so far away. and after a victory for hope, january 20th feels even farther. but when the message is made that the people of this country chose hope over fear & hatred, and unity over bigotry & war, the wait will be well worth it.

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*in a country as physically, economically, and culturally vast as ours, it may very well be impossible to satisfy people of all beliefs at once. however, knowing that there is at least one person (the head person) who is trying to act in an inclusive, not exclusive, way, for the maximum benefit for the country, makes sacrificing or struggling so much more palatable.

**here’s an excellent example of political satire about the choices we had for the 2004 presidential election. South Park episode 808: Douche vs Turd

counting ballots makes me cooler than most people

part I

so today i counted early ballots for the primary election in colorado tomorrow. tomorrow will be crazy, they say.

the experience was odd. we were a motley crew of people who loved politics, or are retired and bored, or just really needed money. though, rarely were two of these qualities found in the same person. there was one common thread that seemed to cross categories and that was most people had bad knees or some other disability in common that meant they couldn’t stand all day. funny how the job description didn’t mention it was a “stand around all day” kind of gig.

in our group of about 30, there were 2 republicans and 1 undeclared. the democrats had the place by force. rarely would you find a room full of democrats and have them say, wow there are too many democrats here. but it happens. it will probably happen again here shortly when the Democratic National Convention-goers start to trickle in to town.

so this whole counting process involves wearing a red vest and shuffling loads of ballots from one box, into a big machine, then into another box. this requires little skill, little drive, and little general competency. apparently, it also requires little planning on the part of the government staff. it wasn’t until my red vest was bequeathed unto me that i felt like a walmart worker. until then, it was a pretty solid factory worker experience.

well, today i started as a puller. this job was pulling counted ballots from the machine and putting them in a box. my helper was a zen master from india. now if that doesn’t put a different perspective on politics, what does?

THEN my big excitement came when i was categorized as “a computer person” (don’t you love that? yes, i’ve built databases and websites and have written some formulas that i consider to be kickass in excel, but this term has nothing to do with that.

i am “a computer person” simply because i don’t shriek and pull up my petticoats at the idea of using a mouse. can you believe there are still people who do this? so yes, i can click “ok” and “cancel” on this big machine.). so how do you like me now? i’m “a computer person.” my training on clicking the “ok” and “cancel” buttons followed shortly thereafter.

now this was quite interesting. the machine spits out the ballots that people fill out incorrectly. to fill out a ballot properly, you blacken in a line. so, when people circle, X or check an option, the machine rejects the ballot. then a team of judges decides the voter’s intent of the mark and sends the ballot off to be reproduced on a new card so that it can be run through the machine correctly.

the funny part is that this job requires nearly no computer skill, but rather a hearty understanding of the ballot flow process. it is amazing to me that this system works at all, given the amount of training/competency of the workers.

after several hours of this, they sent us home.

part II

today i start at 3:00 pm and count ballots until they’re gone. any takers on how long i’ll be there?

part III – the dramatic conclusion

i know you’ve all been wringing your hands in sweaty anticipation of how long ballot counting took yesterday. certainly, none of you actually care who won the primaries in colorado. certainly. good thing too, because i’m not privy to that info yet. i haven’t bothered to look it up just yet…

so anyway, i left the counting facility at 1:30 am.

oh we were cranky by 10pm. you betcha. it was funny to watch it happen. you see, nobody told us things throughout the day. you know, pertinent information about being permitted to talk to certain people or not talk to certain people, how to mark boxes that don’t have the appropriate info on them, who you can help when their ballots are shooting all over the floor and who you can’t. so, instead of knowing what to do, we were yelled at for doing things wrong when we couldn’t find someone to give us answers. the beauty of this was that we were also told that we had to be independent. hmmmmm. this is part of why we were cranky by 10pm.

we were also cranky because we could see the inefficiency from miles away. (i mean, really–the trucks forgot to pick up a huge portion of the mid-day ballots? setting us back by at least 4 hours? isn’t this what the trucks do?) so, to some degree, we can say “hey, we’re paid hourly so who cares. the longer it takes, the better.” but really, watching people do stuff wrong and knowing we have to redo things because of it, then wait around doing nothing, then have management snip at us, doesn’t really balance out for me. apparently i wasn’t the only one.

the election commission is an unhappy place. these people are so threatened by media given the complications of the last few elections, that they’re so busy guarding themselves and there have effectively made themselves ineffective at what they do. yes folks, this is your tax dollars at work. but, if media weren’t driven by ratings and rating weren’t driven by people like us, we could sit back and criticize. as it is, if we stopped bitching about what we saw on tv, our tax money would be spent much more efficiently. and we know that won’t happen. it’s an amazing dynamic.

i suppose i’ll see if i can find out who my new state rep candidates are now…

oh yeah, i am soooo all up on ch7 news. that camera was up in my face all afternoon. great. can’t wait to see that footage.